Dear mamas & dadas to-be...

After my minor breakdown last night, I was able to sleep on and off for a whopping 8 hours. That's an accomplishment. Yes, baby was still kicking. I'm still getting lightening crotch and round ligament pain at night from the growing belly and moving baby. But hey, what's pregnancy without the aches, right? It did let me sleep for the most part and I am grateful for that. Now, time to break down my actual thoughts.

Maybe this will give you a cry, and a laugh, and an amen. Maybe you won't relate to this at all! I just figured that I was so candid with my last post that I shall just continue on that track...

This is all the shit we hope *you* as partners, lovers, and friends should know if your significant other is expecting...

☆ Please stop speed walking if you do. I am cramping and out of breath trying to keep up with your pace. At this point, I've added some odd 20-30 pounds (if not more) and it's hard to recalibrate my body to catch up with the speed we used to walk together at.

☆ Bending over is not a joke after something like 22 to 25 weeks. It is seriously uncomfortable and we NEED your help doing things. It would be wise to pull up your pants, boot straps, whatever the heck you want to "pull up" (lol), but just get a move on helping!

☆ Do not tell me not to pick up those fries. We are human - not angels. We can't feed our baby everything good and healthy. Girl needs a break sometimes and everything in moderation is HEALTHY. I'm not telling you to gently suggest that it may be healthier to pick up a can of fizzy water instead of soda every day. But damn, we are constantly hungry and you know what happens when I don't eat those fries? I get nauseous and cranky. So I'll take those fries please, and with some queso on the side. We can talk salad at the next meal, which promptly commences in 3 hours anyways.

☆ On that note, get up and get yo girl that snack! What are you doing in bed at 3AM? If she's hungry... GET. THAT. SNACK. What takes you a second to get out of bed now takes us a good 45-60 seconds by the time she tries to lift those pillows off from around her. My midwife taught me how to roll out of bed at our appointment this week so that I don't damage and separate my abs after delivery. That's right, it's called diastasis recti.

☆ We see you budget and we know you budget. We are not recklessly buying everything new and second hand for the thrill of it. Do babies need the luxuries of everything? NO. However, babies, and c-section/vaginally delivering moms, do have a lot of essentials you probably don't even realize as a first time parent because you were assigned to research 5-6 different things.... OUT OF THE 50. I'm exaggerating but I hope you get the point.

☆ If she's comfortable and happy with HER choices, then let it be. At the end of the day, the choice *should* be hers and I say this very, very lightly. Every relationship has their dynamic so hey, take what I'm saying with a grain of salt. This is a generalized blanket statement and it ranges anywhere from revealing (or not) the biological sex of the baby, the decisions to be labouring at a hospital or at home, to breastfeeding or formula feeding, and whether you'd like to co-sleep or not in the future. Just remember, do you have a parasite *cough* baby *cough* in your belly though for 9-10 months? No? Didn't think so.

As I say that last point, being pregnant and carrying a baby is 100% NOT A TRUMP CARD TO WIN EVERY ARGUMENT AND DISAGREEMENT. By the same token, there are many, many personal choices that are exclusive to Pregnant Future Mom status that should be respected but may not.

For example, pregnant women spend countless nights not sleeping and we take comfort in knowing/not knowing what the biological sex is of the baby when it's shaking shit up in the belly. What's it really to you to know or not know in solidarity with your partner? I mean I can choke almost saying this, but I've heard a woman tell me, "My husband let me find out the gender of the baby." Excuse me. He what? Gave you permission to find out something about your own body?

Again, these are just a few loose generalized examples. There are many other contentious topics like child rearing and child care that are better left for in-person and IN DEPTH discussions. For now, take what you will. Until next time friends!

xoxo,

Joanne