Dear Mamas-To-Be...

I'm writing in the dark with all snots and tears. I'm 28 weeks and 3rd trimester certified, and I am fxcking tired. I haven't had a good night's sleep because I'm larger now and can't get comfortable. And the cherry on top is the mental burden of, well, the title of Mom. And the baby's not even here yet...

So if you're a mom to be or have been here before, maybe this is a narrative that is all too familiar. And this is the narrative that NEEDS to change.

I am literally the one carrying the load; I'm carrying the physical load of the baby and the mental load of Mom.If by this point you're wondering what sparked the snot and tears, it's the fight I had with my partner. He's a man. He can't physiologically carry the load, and nor does he have the same mental capacity to plan for the baby and our pending life to be with the baby either.

I know of many couples who tackle this in numerous ways.

In preparation of the baby, they may divide the planning between future Mom & Dad 50/50, but more often than not, 70/30. No I'm not man bashing. It's just that Men, dad's, and partners who are not carrying the baby do not get constant reminders of what is left to do. On the other hand, Moms-To-Be and partners who are carrying the baby, are constantly shoved by the baby (organs and all) so there's no dulling the feeling there, quite literally.

(I wrote something epic here but upon editing, Wix app deleted it and I'm tired and give up editing, so goodluck with whatever else you get to read 💜)

Does this make my partner a terrible one? Absolutely not. He's supportive and loving in so many other ways that I cannot count on 2 hands. But is this narrative of having a mental checklist compounded by the physical changes of pregnancy loaded onto the majority of one person rare? Doubt it. Highly fxcking doubt it. I know I'm not alone here. It just needs to be talked about and if you're a Mama-To-Be or Mom already, feel free to bring this to your partner to read if you just haven't found the right words.

And yes, my partner and I do share this with each other... Change just takes time and understandably so. Crying it out is valid too and that's what I needed tonight. That's OK. I feel no guilt or shame about it, ESPECIALLY no guilt or shame about wanting physical and emotional distance from my partner.

I laughed-out-loud thinking about how to close this unedited piece of work. I was going to say good night, but who am I fxcking kidding. Sleep is rare. Sleep is fine. Sleep is good. You here that tone? I'll try sleep but sleep just hasn't moved me back.

xoxo Joanne