Decision #1: To have thou baby now?

I’ve been beaten down by work lately and have the blues again.

As a result, the voices are rampid and I have to work hard to quiet them down. The good part is that we've come to a decision... well decision #1 in this whole process.

See, the blues all stemmed from my appointment with my psychiatrist, who I learned that my plans wouldn’t go as I imagined. I know - I said I wouldn’t have any expectations but obviously I did. Not only did my psychiatrist tell me that the whole process of weaning off my medications would take a minimum of 3 months, he also told me that I must try to conceive right after I’m off them. I guess I’m ready but not quite ready to commit? I walked out of there with my hands empty but mind full of questions that I was ready to tackle with my husband.

I really wanted to wean off the medications now, take a break to enjoy summer, then try to conceive, and you know, save money for the baby during that time so we would have a solid foundation. The decision really boiled down to having a baby now or baby later? The both of us decided we didn’t want to wait the extra couple months for our own personal reasons, but it was mainly because of the unpredictability of pregnancy in general. I could be pregnant instantly or it could take months or years. There were A LOT of other things to consider.

I knew this journey was going to be difficult but I think I just got slammed in the face by reality. This was just one of the many, many decisions that are going to be hard to make. Now I’m back to where I was… I need to see my psychiatrist again so that I can get started on the weaning process.

We’re more ready than ever to start and I’m so happy you can join us on this ride too :)

xoxo,

Joanne