& so the story begins...

It's official. I'm done with valproic acid. The sun is glorious and shining on me (literally I'm at the park with the sun on me right now). I don't usually write on a whim but here it goes...

Life is an unusual place. There is so much uncertainty in the world and my feet can barely touch the ground. I'm flying on air, coasting, on some Disney magical carpet ride.

But I'm feeling so guilty for it.

There is so much shit is happening in the world and here I am, happy, for once where I'm not depressed nor manic. Just calm.

I can donate money. I can stand by my morals and values and promote change by educating people about race and colour, because let's face it, what shitty world is my future love bug going to be part of?

Our baby will be a person of colour and more unique than others - part Chinese/Vietnamese and Sri Lankan.

Yet I'm ready to take on the world and not live in fear. Riots? No. Peaceful protests to walk beside people who share the same values? Yes.

Please let me know what else I can do other than to donate, educate, and learn more myself. I want to be there more than ever because the world is twisted and unjust.

This is the beginning of my story for myself and my family. The one where I live life without valproic acid in my body to keep me calm and level.

And on another note... Update? I'm more of a crying mess than ever. I've never been more sensitive in my life but that's me without that one medication I guess? I'm still on a slew of other medications but hey, if it's it only tears I have to wipe away and the rest of my mental state is calm then I can cope with that!

Anyone else this sensitive post-medication weaning and off birth control? Let me know!

xoxo,

Joanne